Contempt of Praise

I first read about the concept of contempt of praise while reading about a church father named Gregory (I think it was Gregory the Great). I modified his thoughts and I have been trying to practice this contempt ever since.

I found that I have a funny addiction: the praise of man.
I want to be addicted to the praise of God, but often I am blocked from this addiction by my desire to have men tell me how good I am.

I want humility, but will settle for accolades.
I want Jesus’ yoke, but will settle for freedom.
I want to hear “Well done”, but will settle for A+

Why can I not break this cycle?

The contempt of praise is my way of letting go of the things that this world values; of letting go of the destructive things that happen to my soul when people say great things about me.

The truth: I don’t really like what happens to my heart when I have my fifteen minutes of fame. I don’t really feel satisfied when I receive an award. I don’t really want to gain the whole world because I know too well what I will lose in that process.

Lord Jesus, help me to value Your praise more than anything else, especially my own self-serving praise of myself.